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These are then sold online to collectors at exorbitant prices

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There wasnt even any damage, nor any fancy animations

Meaning, you can't just shortcut it and have to play it out, making 20 minute turns that aren't guaranteed to win

While this card can be OK, getting a few threats back all at once is worth chucking a load of filler artiffacts away for

The card was banned because so few people could interpret it, and it wasn't safe to have in play since someone could just claim to understand what it says and do what they want